Hurry Up and Wait

It’s not rainbows and butterflies, although I try my best to make my days good ones – but I’m sharing the good and the bad with you – so just skip the ones that are labeled “rant” posts if you only want positive ones.   I was diagnosed with cancer less than a month ago, but in reality this tumor has been inside me since at least August, and every day and week we have to wait makes my mind crazy. The holidays and the new year did not work in our favor with offices closing for vacation days, insurance renewing and needing things resubmitted, its just really been a crummy situation!

I feel like we’re playing a hurry up and wait game. I’m always waiting on someone and I’m so sick of it! There are so many decisions to make, referrals to receive, prior-authorizations to be approved, it seems we are constantly in a waiting battle with each provider, insurance, everything! Then when I finally do get information, or a call back, or whatever I’m waiting on, it’s soon the weekend and I can’t do everything I need to because offices are closed…

A weekend in the life of a cancer patient (or just me!):

Tuesday, Oncology office submits paperwork to insurance company for the new year.

Waiting for authorization for my oncology visits. Finally got approved Friday. By this time I’ve had my surgery and am on pain relievers that make it hard to function for a time period after I take them (and I just feel like napping).

Called oncology office and left voicemail.

Got voicemail back from office saying they are waiting on one of my Chemo drugs to be approved by insurance.

Called insurance, they said the form had been submitted but it would be 7-10 more days for authorization because it wasn’t marked urgent.

Called back oncology office, which is now closed because they close early on Fridays, and the person on call probably can’t really help me.

Get a call from Huntsmans about my MRI and that I need to have a biopsy done on a lymphnode before starting Chemo.

Can’t schedule that because the radiology office is closed.

Take my son in for an appt. today and find out he has a double ear infection and possible pink eye.

Go to get his prescriptions filled to be told his insurance is no longer valid.

Call the Medicaid office, which is closed, because, it’s the freaking weekend.

Log in online and see that his coverage has been discontinued.

Freak the heck out because I can’t do anything about fixing it until Monday.

Yell a little when my hubby tried to make me take a nap.

Send him back to the store to pay for the $50+ prescription out of pocket.

Try not to swear {more} about the situation.

Decide to write it all out because once I get it out, I can let it go until I can deal with it. So Monday, your to-do list just got longer!

Snuggle with my boys and just try to let it all go. Because despite all of THIS ^^^, I am still immensely blessed.

My husband always says, “It will all work out” – and it always does, sometimes it just needs a little “push”.


4 thoughts on “Hurry Up and Wait

  1. Rick says:

    It is going to be, to put it litely, a journey. It will be highs and lows of emotions and tempers. Be sure to take time for yourself to process, re-center and recompose yourself. It may require you totally checking out for a bit. This is going to be tough on you and your family as well. You will all need support. Don’t be proud or stubborn when those of us who care deeply want to help. Be it babysitting, money, transportion or meals, take it graciously and allow those around you to help carry your burden and pain. If all of us can give you a speck of light with service combined it will feel as though your are being bathed in sunlight.


    • Janelle says:

      Thanks Rick! I’ve already had days were I told people, Today I’m not talking about or doing anything related with cancer! It’s definitely going to be a family affair and a humbling one too! Thank you for your love & support!


  2. Brona Addison says:

    Never feel like you shouldn’t rant when you need to rant. You have the right to yell and scream if it helps relieve the stress. I won’t be skipping the rant posts. I was a caregiver for my dad for over 6 years and and later as a caregiver for my brother. Being able to let off the pressure sometimes by ranting helped us both. Always “being strong” is highly overrated.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Janelle says:

      I completely agree. I want to be as positive as I can because that’s the kind of person I want to be but I wouldn’t be true to myself or to others and this experience if I don’t show the hard and the ugly too. All of it is a process. My sister told me, “its ok and to be selfish sometimes” and I think she’s totally right. Thanks Brona for the advice. If you have any great caregiver support resources we’d love some links. Thank you!


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